Another inspiring person I learned about is a man by the name of Sir Nicholas Winton. If you have the opportunity to learn more about him by googling him, I encourage you to do so. He is referred to as "Britain's Schindler" and is responsible for arranging the safety of 669 children of Jewish descent by transporting them from German occupied Czechoslovakia to Great Britain immediately prior to the beginning of World War II and placing them in British families to live. Sir Nicholas Winton and those many British families are responsible for saving the lives of those 669 children.....the parents of the majority of those children died soon thereafter in German Concentration Camps. I found this advice from Sir Nicholas Winton particularly inspiring. "Don't be content in your life just to do no wrong, be prepared every day to do something good." Think about it, if each of us made a concerted effort to follow this advice, we could make a truly lasting positive impact in our world. There are some documentaries about this truly amazing man, and I encourage you to try to watch them sometime. They are called "All My Loved Ones", "The Power of Good", and "Nicky's Family". By the way, from what I've been able to research, Sir Nicholas Winton is still alive at age 104. It seems that God has placed this man here to continue to teach us very important lessons about goodness:)
Sometimes it seems as though each day can be a struggle for a person to get through, and it is on those days that we need inspiration to help us keep putting one foot in front of the other. To this end, I find myself drawn to human interest stories whether on the internet, on T.V. or in the newspaper. Yesterday, I found myself reading an article about Sean White, our U.S. Olympic snowboarder that I found inspiring. While he didn't medal, I believe he impacted many lives with his very sweet action of making time for a little boy who is a survivor of cancer and had been sent to the Olympics through the Make A Wish foundation, but was told that the Olympic Committee would not allow for a meeting. After his event, Sean White was told of this and immediately went over to the little boy meeting him, his family, and the other child who was there for the same purpose. As I read this article, I was inspired yet again by the fact that despite a person's fame, vast talent, and or riches, they are still human beings capable of reaching out to other human beings, and that is something to be celebrated...in my eyes even more than their talents, accomplishments, fame and or riches.
Another inspiring person I learned about is a man by the name of Sir Nicholas Winton. If you have the opportunity to learn more about him by googling him, I encourage you to do so. He is referred to as "Britain's Schindler" and is responsible for arranging the safety of 669 children of Jewish descent by transporting them from German occupied Czechoslovakia to Great Britain immediately prior to the beginning of World War II and placing them in British families to live. Sir Nicholas Winton and those many British families are responsible for saving the lives of those 669 children.....the parents of the majority of those children died soon thereafter in German Concentration Camps. I found this advice from Sir Nicholas Winton particularly inspiring. "Don't be content in your life just to do no wrong, be prepared every day to do something good." Think about it, if each of us made a concerted effort to follow this advice, we could make a truly lasting positive impact in our world. There are some documentaries about this truly amazing man, and I encourage you to try to watch them sometime. They are called "All My Loved Ones", "The Power of Good", and "Nicky's Family". By the way, from what I've been able to research, Sir Nicholas Winton is still alive at age 104. It seems that God has placed this man here to continue to teach us very important lessons about goodness:) ATTACHMENT AND RELATIONSHIPS Attachment is defined as a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space. (Ainsworth, 1973; Bowlby, 1969). While all attachment does not have to be reciprocal and can be one way, any relationship with depth does have attachment that exists on a reciprocal basis. John Bowlby further defined attachment as a "lasting psychological connectedness between human beings."
Attachment starts in infancy but is a lifetime process. All relationships of quality involve attachment and it develops basically when an individual experiences and expresses a need and that need is then met by another individual. As infants, we became attached to our parents as they met our needs by feeding us, changing our diapers when needed, and comforting us. Each time our need was met a "brick" was placed in our foundation of attachment, and that foundation of attachment is the true foundation of our relationships. While the building of attachment begins in infancy with our parents, or any other primary caregivers, attachment is really the foundation of any relationship we have and develops in the same way in all of our relationships. What is important to remember is that the relationship quality increases positively as a need in the relationship is expressed and met. However, the opposite occurs when needs exist for a member of the relationship and are not met within the relationship. If a person in a relationship ceases to try to meet the needs with the person they are in a relationship with, the relationship will begin to disintegrate and this disintegration will continue as long as those needs are not being met until ultimately the relationship will dissolve. The wonderful news, however, as that as long as we are actively looking to meet the needs of those we have relationships with, whether they be basic needs such as food and clothing for our children, or emotional support when we notice that those we care about are struggling, we will have lasting and healthy relationships, especially if those needs are being met reciprocally within the relationship. A belief is defined as "something believed or accepted as true, especially a particular tenet or body of tenets accepted by a group of persons" and a belief system is defined as "a set of mutually supportive beliefs. The beliefs of any such system can be classified as religious, philosophical, ideological or a combination of these." We all have beliefs and a belief system. They are very central to who we are as individuals and how we live our lives and they are very difficult to change. We develop our belief systems through what are referred to as the socializing agents of family, religion, and educational institutions as well as other contributors in our lives. My beliefs are very, very central to my work, and this is something that people who work with me and even those who read this blog will need to keep in mind. My beliefs are many, but the most important components of my belief system are my faith and relationship with God, my family, and even my strong belief in the goodness of people and in our country. Those are important things to know about me as I relate the following example of some of the work I do and how I rely very much on God and family and friends along with my professional training to do the work I do. Many people ask me how I can stand to do the work I do when I am often dealing with trauma and tragedy, and they ask this especially knowing I work with many children. The following events I am going to relate what happened a few years ago and while they did involve trauma to a child, I am inspired to this day by how God helps me in my work and how He uses many people to bring about good things to help be part of helping a person through trauma.
As a counselor in a different city I was working with a young girl who had unfortunately had been molested by her mother's boyfriend. When she related the happenings to me, I advised her mother that I was mandated to report this to be investigated, and I did so. Unfortunately, the child's mother was able to convince the child to change her story because the mother loved her boyfriend and didn't want to lose him. When the investigators interviewed the child, she indeed did change her story. Unfortunately, this happens all too often, and as a result child protection workers, law enforcement officers, and the courts are then limited in their abilities to protect the child from further abuse. Of course, since the child changed her story, there was nothing further that could be done. And as so often happens, the mother withdrew her from counseling and actually she and the boyfriend moved the child to another state. Probably about 6 months later I saw a phone call on my cell phone from another state....I recognized the area code and prefix of the phone number because it was from the same town in which my mom used to live in the other state. As I checked my voice-mail, I realized the caller was a detective from the Sheriff's Dept. in that town. Since my mom had not lived there for a few years, this puzzled me, but when I returned the detectives phone call, the detective told me that she was calling me about the little girl I used to counsel because the little girl had told her about me. Again, as often happens in these cases, the mom's boyfriend had done more unspeakable things to this little girl, and even worse she now had a disease as a result. Needless to say, I was very upset to hear this and asked the detective what I could do to help. The detective advised that she would like copies of my records and the mom signed the necessary paperwork for me to send them. Probably about a month later, the detective called to tell me that perpetrator was in jail and they would likely subpoena me to testify. She also advised that in the meantime, the mother wanted to move back to her home state with her child and she told the mother that even if she did so, she would be required to return to this other state at the time of trial and bring the child and the only way she could take the child out of the state was if the mother would commit to bringing the child back to counseling with me to deal with the trauma she had experienced as well as work with her to prepare her for her testimony in trial. The mother and child did move back to their home state and the child began seeing me for counseling again and the detective kept in touch with me a couple of times a month to ensure this requirement was being met. (At this point in time, I want to note that in my previous work with Children's Services here in Missouri and in my work even over the last ten years as a a counselor, I have worked with many law enforcement officers, child protection workers, attorneys and the courts to work together to protect children and I appreciate each and every one that I've worked with to that end, but this particular detective was amazing and gave well over 100% in ensuring this child was protected, received help, and in making sure the perpetrator of these crimes was prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law). As time went by, my respect for this detective grew by leaps and bounds. Eventually the perpetrator went to trial and received a sentence of 25 years in prison, for which I am very happy. Unfortunately, again the mother disengaged her daughter from counseling. This happens often, and because I care greatly about my clients and in particular my clients who are children, I can get rather worried about my clients. Unfortunately this is beyond my control, so I have had to rely on my faith in God and prayer and I pray often for the well-being of my clients. Now, it is at this point that the inspirational part of the story begins. About 6 months after the trial in this case, I was invited by a very good friend of my family to his retirement ceremony from the army in the very state where these later events had occurred, and since my mom used to live there, I asked if she'd like to go along and we could stay in the town where she used to live for a couple of nights before taking her back home. She agreed to this, and off we went. As we were arriving in this town, mom wanted to take the car through a car wash that would also clean the inside of her car, so we did so. Probably about 10 minutes prior to that, I had told my mom that I wished we had more time and had gotten there earlier because I would have liked to have gone by the Sheriff's Dept. and meet the detective I had talked to so frequently on the phone in the case I noted above because she had really impressed me. When we got to the car wash, we went inside the building as mom's car was being detailed. As we were waiting, I heard the voice of a woman giving her co-worker a hard time and saying "don't let that detective's shield clipped to your belt go to your head". Believe it or not, it was the voice of the very detective I had just 10 minutes previously told mom I wished I had more time so that I could meet her. I recognized her voice from the many phone conversations we had and went around the corner to see if I could see her.....sure enough, there was a female detective standing there, and I asked her if she was Detective Liotta, and she confirmed that she was. I introduced myself and we were able to visit for a few minutes. I refer to moments such as that chance meeting with Detective Liotta as "aha moments". To me, God was giving me the opportunity to meet this person that I had worked so closely with via phone and he used my friend, Dave's, retirement ceremony and my mom's presence to bring about the events that would make that happen. In my work with trauma, I call upon God frequently and I pray frequently that He will help me help my clients. To me, this chance meeting with Detective Liotta was God's way of reminding me that He is present and that He would be watching over the little one that I could no longer watch over and that Detective Liotta and I had done our part to getting that little one to a better place because He had placed us there and He would provide to her what she needed. When I question whether the work we do in this field is as effective as I'd like it to be, I am reminded of that "aha moment":) And I am so very thankful to my family and to the many inspiring people in my life, particularly my parents and grandparents, for introducing me to having faith. I am also so very thankful to God for providing those people we need to help us through our own trials and tribulations. God does that for all of us, we just have to look for them in our lives....they are definitely there somewhere. One of my favorite quotes that keeps me going is by Mike Ditka and goes as follow: "You'll never be a loser until you quit trying". When I'm feeling particularly discouraged I remind myself of this and I even have it posted in my office to constantly remind me....it helps:)
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Author As I begin each new year in business, I spend much of January going though materials to file and evaluating my previous year. This particular year it seems that I'm doing even more of that since I'm celebrating having completed my tenth year of private practice in my office here. I am a creature of habit, but it seems that this is a good time to add some components to my webpage and to my practice. One of my clients who I respect greatly as a person and as a professional suggested that I begin a blog through my office, so this will be the beginning of my efforts. We'll see how it goes:) DISCLAIMER: The Family Circle Blog exists to provide iinformation for education and encouragement purposes. It is not intended to diagnose or treat any medical or psychological conditon. Please make an appointment with the counselor of your choice or medical provider of your choice for individual advice regarding your specific situation and needs.
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