ATTACHMENT AND RELATIONSHIPS
Attachment starts in infancy but is a lifetime process. All relationships of quality involve attachment and it develops basically when an individual experiences and expresses a need and that need is then met by another individual. As infants, we became attached to our parents as they met our needs by feeding us, changing our diapers when needed, and comforting us. Each time our need was met a "brick" was placed in our foundation of attachment, and that foundation of attachment is the true foundation of our relationships.
While the building of attachment begins in infancy with our parents, or any other primary caregivers, attachment is really the foundation of any relationship we have and develops in the same way in all of our relationships. What is important to remember is that the relationship quality increases positively as a need in the relationship is expressed and met. However, the opposite occurs when needs exist for a member of the relationship and are not met within the relationship. If a person in a relationship ceases to try to meet the needs with the person they are in a relationship with, the relationship will begin to disintegrate and this disintegration will continue as long as those needs are not being met until ultimately the relationship will dissolve.
The wonderful news, however, as that as long as we are actively looking to meet the needs of those we have relationships with, whether they be basic needs such as food and clothing for our children, or emotional support when we notice that those we care about are struggling, we will have lasting and healthy relationships, especially if those needs are being met reciprocally within the relationship.